Longing for home

aku gelisah…

begitu banyak hal yang menumpuk di benakku sampai sampai membuat aku merasa ‘penuh’.. ‘Overload’ mungkin kata yang lebih pas. aku sulit bernafas lega, selalu mengerutkan dahi dan sering sekali menarik nafas panjang…

It started yesterday…
Normally, this situation only happens when I don’t have enough money in my account for the rest of the month, or when I really want something but I can’t afford it yet, or when I have doubts over my boyfriend or our future.
but those are not the things that’s occupying my mind now..

I feel squeezed..
That’s a funny word but it shows exactly how I feel right now..
I use to feel save at the office, it use to be my hideaways from the ‘real life’, by ‘real life’ I mean my family and my relationship problems.. but now I don’t feel secure anymore..
This office’s management seems to be worsen by time.. the managers were just a bunch of snob idiots with overloaded pride. they do everything the like just because they can do it, with no objective reasons. I hate them.
Even my own supervisor is more stupid than the rest of the managers here.
The only thing he can do is telling people what to do, squeeze them till their last breath to do things that are his job, and then take the credit in front of the big boss. What an ASSHOLE FUCK!!

Lately I’ve been thinking of quitting and going back to my hometown where I can handle the family business and stay in my own place. my family has been tore apart for ages and I feel, and this is an unusual feeling, that now might be the time for a change. I feel so happy to know that there might be possibilities that we can be like we were before, a big happy family.. Wishing so hard for that..
I can say now, that I finally feel like I wanna go home. wanna be close with my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sisters in law and my nieces and nephew.

I miss you all dearly..