Betrayal. Betrayal.
I may not know the exact definition of it but no one knows how it feels more than me. I was betrayed once when I was younger. Still filled with good deeds and knows no evil. When I was still vanilla. I can’t believe that I have to experience another one now. It really breaks my heart. How can someone, my own best friend, betrayed me when I trust her with all my life. And they said that they only did it for my own sake. There’s no such thing. Betrayal is betrayal. No matter what defense you have. I’ve trusted her to keep one of my deepest, darkest, nastiest secret and she just leaked it. Why? Am I so incapable of taking care of it for myself that they think they have to think about what’s best for me? I’m still functional. I can still think sanely. I haven’t gone crazy. Do they think that I’m mentally unstable to think? Why do they have to do it behind my back? Why? They’re my best friends. Closer to me than my own family. I can’t believe they did this. I don’t want them to play all psychological with me. I don’t want them to put those psychology crap inside my head. I know what’s true and real here. I know what they did. But I don’t know why they did this.
Originally written on July 31, 2007
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