responsibility sucks.
That's what happening in my life now.. responsibility really sucks. growing up sucks too.. especially when nobody appreciates it. I don't know why people can be so mean and careless by saying that you have to do something more and more when you already bleed yourself dry. you already push yourself to the limit and they don't even see it. it really is hard to keep up to everybody else's standards. i'm not them and they're not me. i am me. but i live with them, i deal with them, so i have to fulfill the image they have towards me. it's so fucking hard. almost impossible actually. why can't i be just me and people make peace with that and take me as i am? why can't i be just like that?
the situation now is, i feel like i took all the responsibilities for everything. for the situation happening in my life nowadays (which is really suck to the core), everything that happen in the fucking office, and also in the family. i already got full responsibility of my life but why do i have to be the one who's responsible for all these shits? i can never be "me" and right. i have to be what the want to be right. can i live with that? can you live with that?
i am not the most wonderful person in the world. i don't have the most adorable personality in the world. i can be a very kind hearted person. but i can be tired and bored and bad sometimes. i've got emotions, the good and bad ones. i got moods.. i am a human. i got all that. why can't you just understand that and take me as i am? why do i have to understand others so hard when they don't even try to understand me? why do i have to understand people who don't respect me? is this what you call selfish? if so, you must grow up then.
Originally written on June 08, 2007
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